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consciousness
so i remember i was woke up at 8 am, and then at that time i was dreaming about having a good times with my friends somewhere at the school, and there is a little monkey, yeah it is so small that i call him little monkey. suddenly the monkey steal mamet's cigarettes and run away to the class. i chase the monkey and check it there is nothing there. and time pass by we gotta go but at the time i saw a big ugly shark blue baloon passing me. its obvious thats the fricking monkey stealin cigar. the worst part is, when i wake up, i tought it was 7 am, but the reality i was woke at 8 am, and the power cuts for a while, making me even more blank at my deepest mind. and then, i checked my phone, it was 11 am. a few minutes after goes blank, mamet come through and i check the time, its 1:30 PM. F
dreams, thoughts, thinks
sometimes my mind tellin me to stop doing useless things. even i still did. looking at the wall for a minutes, wasting my times doing nothing. emptiness, loneliness, self hate, lead me to hit the wall with my hand and it is.. painful. my finger going numb for a minutes, and still painful until now. also, i think i was born in the worst ever generation. everything goes really fast and instantly. no one want to spend a lot of time of progressing something thats meaningful for life. this "Z" generation, is depressed, fragile, and anxious. i have personally 4 smartphones, 2 broken, 2 working just fine. i always take the daily usage of using my phones. because.. its addictive. like drugs, but not physically ,but mentally. you feel the fun of getting new notifications, or new story propaganda. anything interest you, will always want you to be on the phone. everything is calculated. on screen time on spesific post, the way you react the post with likes or loves, laughs, your comment...
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