another dreams

salah satu mimpi teraneh gw lagi. malam ini gw mimpi sama temen masa kecil gw disekolah, si tito. gw mimpi menuju sebuah bukit gitu ke puncaknya. menaiki tangga, dan di setiap 5 anak tangga, ada jeda gitu. sampai nya di atas, kek tempat air terjun atau pembangkit listrik tenaga air gitu dah. gw masuk kedalem sama tito, naik keatas, ketemu orang pake kacamata, chinese gitu, cowo, gemuk. sampai di ujung sana, gw ngeliat ular cobra.. sebesar mobil, sepanjang kereta jaman sekarang. kata orang yang jaga situ, liat ular nya ngeliat lu orang pada. akhir nya gw turun lewat air, sampe hampir kebawa arus gw, udah di ujung gw hampir jatuh ke bawah tepi air yang deras. gw naik, minggir ke tempat kering, dan kebangun. apa maksud ini mimpi

dreams, thoughts, thinks

sometimes my mind tellin me to stop doing useless things. even i still did. looking at the wall for a minutes, wasting my times doing nothing. emptiness, loneliness, self hate, lead me to hit the wall with my hand and it is.. painful. my finger going numb for a minutes, and still painful until now.

also, i think i was born in the worst ever generation. everything goes really fast and instantly. no one want to spend a lot of time of progressing something thats meaningful for life. this "Z" generation, is depressed, fragile, and anxious.

i have personally 4 smartphones, 2 broken, 2 working just fine. i always take the daily usage of using my phones. because.. its addictive. like drugs, but not physically ,but mentally. you feel the fun of getting new notifications, or new story propaganda.

anything interest you, will always want you to be on the phone. everything is calculated. on screen time on spesific post, the way you react the post with likes or loves, laughs, your comments, share them to your friends, anything is connected.

i don't like to see any ads, really. i always install an ad blocker on my browser wether on phones or pc, uninstalling apps i don't need, like new phones now are pre-installed with bloatware to force you watch ads, and you can't resist.

but i do, i root my phone, uninstall those sh*t. but also, the app store especially android, are watching you without your consent, too. you don't even realize until now. they have your browsing history, pages you visited, apps you installed, or even you look at it for checking them.

anything, you are always being watched, everywhere, anytime. except you don't have those in the middle of nowhere. we live in the age of internet, between two sides coins, the good and the bad behind it.

last but not the last, internet is just our mindless AI enemy, you need it, but don't go too deep inside, or you will get lost.